Reflections since October 7th

Josh Z recounts his time in Israel during the war, and the complex emotions of solidarity, grief, and questioning.

On October 7th, 2023, I was in Tzfat, Israel, participating in the first Road Trip with the Rabbi on Year Course. I loved the programme, and this weekend was an opportunity to meet Kedma (the other half) and enjoy myself in a new place. But we woke up to sirens.

The atrocities committed on that Black Shabbat shocked all of us, and the whole of the Jewish world was rocked. Israel was forced to respond, defeat, and begin a military campaign against Hamas.

The hostages taken by Hamas, PIJ and other groups became the focus of the internal discourse in Israel — should there be a deal to release them, or was it more important to continue fighting until Hamas was defeated?

I spent the weeks between 9th October 2023 and 20th November 2023 on Kibbutz Keturah, in the Arava, avoiding the rockets, while volunteering for families evacuated from the Gaza Envelope. Upon my return to Tel Aviv, the plight of the hostages became the main focus. On day 44 of the war, I visited Hostage Square for the first time; this was just before the first hostage deal in which many of the children were released from captivity.

Once that deal ceased, I continued to campaign, alongside thousands of Israelis, for the release of the remaining hostages, and a comprehensive end to the war—I believed it wasn’t possible to use military force to defeat Hamas and that Israel had a responsibility to ensure the safe return of the hostages with utmost urgency.

Between January and May 2024, I remained in Israel, participating in Year Course, studying the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, and continuing my advocacy for the return of the hostages. I was at Hostage Square every week. Having been sprayed by water cannons and shoved by Israeli police, I struggled to reconcile what I’d experienced with the reports from Gaza, which reaffirmed my beliefs that the Israeli government was acting in its own best interests. It left me questioning if they were truly representing the will of most Israelis.

Succeeding the conclusion of Year Course, I left Israel to spend a summer in America, during which time 63 soldiers died, 6 hostages were murdered by Hamas in cold blood (an IDF investigation concluded the presence of troops in the area had a “circumstantial influence” on the terrorists’ decision to kill them), and Israeli cabinet members expressed their eagerness to 'cleanse' and ‘colonise' Gaza (Smotrich, Sep '24).

My outright support for Israeli hostage families and civilians was steadfast, but difficult to reconcile with my growing frustration with their government. Back on campus in the UK, studying politics made this even more challenging. When the government refused to continue with phase two of the January 2025 hostage release deal, I found it increasingly hard to justify or defend Israel’s actions — whether in class discussions or with friends.

The Zionism that I identified with was under threat — from messianism, from extremism, from war criminals and from a government claiming to know what was best for the diaspora!

And so, when I travelled with UJS to Israel in April 2025, visiting the Israeli foreign ministry, I asked: "Do you understand how difficult it is to support Israel, as you ask on campus, when your government is advancing indefensible policy?"

And the response I was met with was, “Israel's security concerns are more important than your support, and maybe there are some students we can speak to who will support our policy."

I do not need sympathy for being slapped in the face by an Israeli foreign office staffer — consider the families of the hostages who were subjected to narratives of war and told they were not a priority for over 2 years.

Finally, as I write this on October 13th 2025, Netanyahu's hand has been forced, and the remaining living hostages have all been returned from Gaza. They were in captivity for far longer than they should have been; all of the hostages who lost their lives should have returned with them — not in coffins, but smiling to see their families.

President Trump’s attendance in the Knesset, accompanied by the lavish praise directed toward him from Netanyahu and the raucous support from the balcony, was a natural consequence of having the hostages returned. It is arguably an affront to Israeli democracy. Requesting a pardon for Netanyahu is an insult to all of those murdered on October 7th; it is a reward for Netanyahu's partners in prolonging the war, and a danger to Israeli democracy.

Now that the hostages have returned, it is vital that the energy behind protests be redirected toward uniting against messianism and theocracy, supporting a democratic state, rebuilding Israeli society, and ensuring recovery and rehabilitation for all those affected by the tragic events of the past two years. Israeli society must advocate for elections, open a state inquiry into the October 7th disaster, continue Netanyahu’s trial, and renew efforts to pursue reconciliation with the Palestinians.

Israel is at a major turning point. It can choose to follow Netanyahu, Smotrich and Ben Gvir's path to international pariah status, to messianism and to dictatorship. Alternatively, it can take a path towards peace, Palestinian-Israeli co-operation, democracy and equality for all those in Israel and the Occupied Palestinian Territories, in whichever format.

I will be hoping for the latter. I hope I am not let down.